"The Blind Spot Parents Have Regarding Social Media Must Be Addressed" (Opinion)

At the end of January, the Senate conducted a hearing regarding social media. This was a hot topic, as the CEOs of TikTok, Snapchat, Discord, and Meta were asked tough questions about their inability to implement safety measures for children and teenagers who become victims of sexual predators, as well as online bullying. "We could regulate you out of business if we wanted to," a frustrated Sen. Thom Tillis, R-N.C., told Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew, X CEO Linda Yaccarino, and other top social media company leaders during the hearing.

As an educator for the EDGE program, with past experience in media, I meet vulnerable students exposed to adult content and pornography. 6th-grade boys tell me stories of “weird people sending me weird pictures”. It was an alarming wake-up call when I started my job two years ago. I have prayed for safeguards and regulations to help keep children protected.

I’ve talked to parents with different points of view, the majority being rather liberal: “All kids are online, and it’s the reality of this generation. They live online, and it's what they all do,” “They are ALL on Snapchat. It’s the ONLY way her friends can talk to each other,” “They know if I catch them looking at anything dirty, there will be heck to pay, but I trust them not to do that,” “OH, they know not to talk to strangers, of course”. I find the majority of parents have this type of hands-off approach on the subject.

Sexual predators and bullies aren’t the only bad folks targeting online, obviously, people are braver and bolder as the online version of themselves. We might say things in a comment section that we would never say to someone in person. Young people can flirt with text and chat apps, avoiding awkward face-to-face rejections and reactions. A teenager can edit an invitation to hang out multiple times before hitting send. Having a hard conversation isn’t as hard behind a keyboard.

We become deceptively desensitized to violence and explicit imagery. We spend money more impulsively. For those involved in the drug and sex trade, money can be made, and lives destroyed from the comfort of one's own home. A child wishing to try drugs or alcohol can explore online without any consequences from family or friends. The fear of getting caught (which has saved many of us from time to time) can be diminished, and a teen who would never purchase or sell drugs on the street or at school can make a deal in seconds, with no risk of anyone seeing.

Last year, teachers, counselors, and SROs met for a Substance Misuse Summit to discuss the opioid overdose crisis in Tennessee. According to our TBI and DEA panelist, social media sites are “the street corner for drug deals”. A tearful father from Nashville spoke of his 14-year-old son's fatal fentanyl overdose as a cautionary tale. His son was offered hydrocodone as a “recovery tool” for weight training, arranged a meeting at a local gym, and even agreed on a price. The pill was a counterfeit and contained a lethal dose of fentanyl. This entire transaction occurred on Snapchat in less than 10 minutes, including a transfer of $30 using Venmo. Literally, an invisible drug deal between strangers on an app where all visible evidence vanishes immediately. His son screenshotted the evidence before taking the drug, leaving a digital clue behind.

Last year in Michigan, two Nigerian men appeared in court on charges that they threatened to release a nude photo of a 17-year-old Michigan boy, causing him to die by suicide inside his home. Samuel Ogoshi, 22, and Samson Ogoshi, 20, are facing federal charges in the death of Jordan DeMay, who shot himself in 2022 after being tricked into sending explicit photos of himself to someone posing as a girl online. Jordan sent money, but the men continued to pressure him for more, according to authorities; hours later, he killed himself. This is a crime that couldn’t have happened 20 years ago. The idea of taking a nude photo to show ANYONE as a high schooler was NOWHERE on anyone's radar as an issue.

So, what do those more conservative parents in education and law enforcement, aware of the dangers, do regarding their kids' use of social media? Many simply do not let their kids use social media at all. No Snapchat or Instagram until they are 18. Some allow them to have a shared account, so they are aware of all activity on the account. Most do not allow the use of chat functions on accounts. “It's not that I don’t trust them, but I know how shady the predators are and how impulsive teens are, especially if unsupervised. We have all been there, but there is an unprecedented ACCESS to our kids that is completely NEW, and we parents have to wise up!” said a sex crimes officer from the Tennessee Bureau of Investigations. To be sure, both Republican and Democratic senators were united in their conviction that social media firms are failing the American public and directly harming young people. Still, it takes time for bills to get passed, and all of these social media firms are still getting slammed for child-safety-related issues, which could keep the topic fresh in the minds of politicians. However, this subject is not new. Remember the “TikTok ban” hot topic of two years ago? The “Internet Anonymity” hearings of the mid-2010s?

As society and culture hash this all out, I can offer only my experience and what I've observed in conversations with teachers, students, law enforcement, and lawmakers. I've noticed that most parents are comfortable with their teen using Instagram, TikToc, and especially Snapchat Chat where one's interactions completely vanish, giving the illusion that evidence of our mistakes and transgressions just fade away with no consequences (see why it's popular?). HOWEVER, and here is the important part, when I ask those closest to internet and sex crimes how they allow their kids to use social, most have told me THEY DON’T let their kids have social media or chat apps. Some only allow their kids to use the internet in a common family area of the home, but “definitely no separate chat apps and no public posting of photos period”. My takeaway is this; anyone with a general awareness of the risk children and teens experience online, should not allow their kids to use social media, or if they do, do so in a very supervised environment.

Back to this emotional hearing where in one memorable exchange, Sen. Josh Hawley, R-Mo., compelled Mark Zuckerberg to stand up and apologize directly to parents who believed that Meta’s Facebook and Instagram apps had contributed to the death of their children. “No one should have to go through the things that your families have suffered,” Zuckerberg told the parents. I recall Mark explaining years ago in a similar hearing that up to 20 percent of new Facebook profiles are “fake”, either imposters, data gathering bots, involved in identity theft or misinformation campaigns, hacks, etc. I still have numerous shady friend requests from around the world. This stuff isn’t going anywhere soon and for what it's worth, if I had a teenager, what social media sites would I allow for them, knowing what I know now? None. If Zuckerberg and Congressmen ever get around to creating a safe, positive, uplifting space for teens to share and socialize, where they are not open prey to predators, I would actually encourage its use by students. We just aren’t there. We aren’t close. 

Rick Sherrill