Love vs. Infatuation

It’s THAT time of the year…when our thoughts turn to romantic love and falling prey to cupid’s arrow. Being overcome with romantic bliss, seems like the thing to do. The Merriam-Webster dictionary definitions of love and infatuation are pretty distinct: love is "a warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion to another person," while infatuation is "a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something." Basically, love is a deep, committed attachment to someone, involving a commitment, while infatuation is shallower; think of it as the so-called "honeymoon phase”, which can override our ability to make wise relationship choices. What are the signs of love vs. infatuation? Relationship therapist Ian Kerner told Men's Health Magazine that infatuation tends to happen at the beginning of relationships. "It's usually marked by a sense of excitement and euphoria, and it's often accompanied by lust and a feeling of newness and rapid expansion with a person," he said. Feeling obsessive, irrationally excited, and strong physical attraction? You're probably in the infatuation phase. Kerner added that while infatuation mostly makes you feel great, you may also feel slightly insecure because things are so new.

But with love, there's a bond there. Love tends to be something that's cultivated over a longer period of time, where you're really getting to know somebody and you're building an attachment. Kerner continued. "You're also creating emotional safety, and you're able to demonstrate vulnerability with that person." When you love someone, you know personal details about them, and you feel safe being open about yourself as well, sharing significant details regarding your life experiences, both good and “not so good”. However, love and infatuation are not mutually exclusive, as most people in a relationship are infatuated with their partners to a certain degree. Avoiding any big decisions for the first three months of a relationship is a smart move, as infatuation tends to fade, and you can evaluate your relationship more objectively, making more informed choices.