Great Expectations

Establishing expectations is important for creating a safe, collaborative and unified environment among teens. They hold us accountable for our actions, strengthen life-skills related to communication and leadership, involve the efforts of everyone and help to create healthy, supportive relationships.

We learn of expectations at a young age: to share, be kind, be respectful, follow directions, be a good listener. It’s natural to push such buttons, test boundaries and ask questions when things don’t make sense to us, and teens are good at this. They find inconsistencies in what we say and what we do and when they find them, they won’t let it go ignored. It’s important to create reasonable expectations for teens-but how do you do so? Here are four ways to get you started.

1. Involve Them in the Process

It’s crucial that your child, or a student if you’re in the education sector, is involved in the initial process of defining expectations. Their investment in the process is the foundation for their success.

2. Pinpoint Specific Areas

It’s not enough to list expectations, they need to be clear. As mentioned earlier, loopholes come naturally to kids and while it’s impressive and sometimes humorous, it can be dealt with before they even have the opportunity to find them.

3. Establish Short-term and Long-term Goals

Once you’ve built investment by involving your teen in the creation process, you both need to establish what they are working towards. Teenagers especially are craving freedom and autonomy and we can help them meet those needs in positive ways if goals are set.

4. Check-in Often and Adapt if Need Be

Once expectations are established, consequences in place and you and your child go about your merry ways, it’s important to come back to reference expectations, consequences and progress along the way. Remind your child that it’s not an agreement that is set in stone, and it should be reiterated that you can make amendments as often as you need.