Success Sequence
I’ve always been proud of what I do. I believe it is so important to make sure today’s teens understand that their decisions matter. It is important that they realize that now is the time to start planning and living for their future.
And most people can get on board with that. I think it is safe to say that unless you are some weirdo that should probably be on a watch list, you want the best for our students. After all, they will be running the country in a few short years. However, there always seems to be a disagreement on what is truly best for our children.
Let me cut to the chase. I fully believe that one of the best and healthiest choices for today’s teens is to delay sexual activity until marriage. I believe in the success sequence (there! I said it!).
I’ll give you some time to catch your breath after that revelation. I’ll also give a simple explanation for those who maybe are not familiar with the success sequence. The success sequence is the idea that the best way to avoid living at poverty level is three simple steps: graduate high school, work full-time and have children after first marrying. Simple, right?
A study from the Institute for Family Studies reported that 97% of millennials that followed the success sequence are not “poor,” with 86% being at least middle class. The study looked at racial disparity as well, and found that only 39% percent of African Americans that have a child out of wedlock are middle- income or better, compared to 76% of those who married prior to having children. And growing up in poverty was considered as well. Only 9% of those who grew up in a low-income found themselves in the same situation if they followed the success sequence. However, of those who missed all three parts, nearly 60% live in poverty.
So, ideally, if we want the best for our students, we must agree that the success sequence is a good starting point. I will concede that it isn’t the only determining factor (I mean, I’m sure there are high school seniors out there that win the lottery the day they turn 18), but I think it is worth considering. So, that brings me to my program.
Follow me for just a minute. If I want my students to have the best chance of avoiding the negative consequences associated with smoking (COPD, lung cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes, etc.), I’m going to suggest they not smoke in the first place. I’m not going to merely suggest using a filtered cigarette, or smoking only one pack a day instead of two. It’s the primary prevention step of the public health model. If I want them to avoid the dangers of drug addiction, I’m going to encourage them not to try drugs in the first place, rather than suggesting a “safe” drug dealer.
In the same way, if I know there are negative consequences other than pregnancy that can come from sexual intimacy outside of a faithful and committed marriage relationship, I’m not going to suggest a “less-risky” alternative. People that smoke less than a pack a day still suffer from lung cancer and there’s no such thing as a “safe” drug dealer. If I want them to have the BEST chance at hitting that success sequence, the BEST chance of success, I’m not going to simply offer a “safe” alternative to sexual activity outside of marriage. Unfortunately, I believe it actually short changes our students.
I’m not living in generations past, and I don’t have my head in a hole. While I’ve heard that I’m wasting my time and not truly making a difference, I would beg to differ. Because when a student learns that it isn’t their childhood or the home they grew up in that determines their future success, they are empowered. When they learn that they have just as much chance at success as the kid sitting next to them in their algebra class, they are determined. And when I stand before them and say “YOU are responsible for your own choices, not your parents or your friends or your teachers,” some leave the classroom with their heads held a little higher. And if one is ready to take on the world, ready to break the cycle, then of course it is worth it.